sigh ... what a day what a day.

baked a cake for sy, had fun with close friends and fell in love with my ex 'again'. is that wrong? i dont know.

but i dont know why i coudnt handle it today. times like this i would just drive anywhere i can but i cant. im stuck here with work. so fuck it.

my love life isnt going so smoothly as assumed but hey, there are always ups and downs in a relationship right? but just to tell you, this one just goes down down down. everything i do seems to be wrong and flaws in me just keep popping out and she just keeps on going on and on about it. sometimes i really hate being who i am. what ive been through. who i gotten to know. what happened in the past. but what can i do but just stand strong and continue to persue what i want in life ... which is that 'particular girl' and a successful life in the culinary line.

sigh ... i fucking miss you.

rick.